It was a sermon on forgiveness, not long after I had started going back to church following 20 years away, that became a real turning point for me. The message that day focused on two verses in the Lord’s Prayer. I had said that prayer more times than I could count, but on that day I realised something—I had never truly prayed it.

When Jesus’ disciples asked Him how to pray, He taught them what we now call the Lord’s Prayer:
“Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.” (Matthew 6:12), but then 2 verses later He explained it: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14–15)

The preacher said it simply and directly: “If you want God to forgive you, you have to forgive others—it’s not optional. If you don’t, He won’t.” He then paused, and after a little while added, “I could say “End of Sermon” … but I won’t.” But for me … he could have. I remember feeling sick as those words landed. I was suddenly aware of two things at once – my own sin before God—more than I could ever count – and the deep unforgiveness I had been carrying for years – on numerous fronts.

What struck me was this: Jesus doesn’t just say it in the prayer… He then explains it straight away. And forgiveness is the only part of the Lord’s Prayer He expands on like that. That day, I understood why.

Because forgiveness is central to everything. That’s why Jesus speaks so seriously about it again when Peter asks:
“Not seven times, but seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:22). In other words—there is no limit. Forgiveness isn’t meant to run out.

This is a direct and sobering teaching. Jesus connects our receiving of forgiveness from God with our willingness to extend forgiveness to others. It isn’t a side issue. It sits at the heart of what it means to live in God’s kingdom. It’s why God sent Him, it’s why He came and it’s what He died for. Because God’s purpose in sending Jesus wasn’t only to forgive us… but to restore what sin has broken—between us and Him, and between us and one another.

Forgiveness, then, isn’t something we manufacture. It’s first received as a gift, and only then, by God’s grace, extended to others.
When we don’t forgive, it doesn’t stay contained. It spreads quietly. It replays the wound, hardens the heart, and keeps us tied to what has already happened. What begins as pain can slowly become bitterness, and bitterness can become distance in relationships.

Forgiveness is different. It doesn’t deny the hurt or pretend it did not matter. It doesn’t call wrong “right.” It’s the decision to lay it down. To stop replaying it. To stop holding it over someone. And to refuse to let it define the present or the future.
Forgiveness may not change the person who has wronged us, and it may not undo what has been done. But it does change us. It loosens the grip of what was done to us, so that it no longer has authority over our present. It breaks the cycle of replaying the wound, and slowly begins to reshape how we carry it.

Unforgiveness traps us in cycles of anger and replaying old wounds. But forgiveness begins to break that cycle. It creates space to live differently—more freely, more honestly, and with more peace. It allows us not only to be forgiven by God, but to live in that forgiveness in a way that reshapes how we see others and how we carry the past.

And it’s only possible through God and what He has done for us in Jesus Christ. The forgiveness we have received at the cross becomes the foundation for how we forgive others. That’s why forgiveness isn’t only obedience, but also freedom. It breaks the grip of bitterness, begins to heal what resentment keeps open, and protects relationships from being quietly eroded over time.

Jesus speaks of forgiveness as essential to living in God’s grace—and as the natural outworking of receiving it. Over time, it leads us into something deeper: peace with God, peace within ourselves, and a way of life shaped not by the past, but by His mercy.